Thursday thoughts…

Thursday thoughts…

Not every story has a fairytale ending.

Not every question you ask will receive an answer.

Not every chapter will give you closure.

Don’t waste your time or energy on people/things who aren’t willing to treat you the same, use that precious energy and time for those who want to share everything this crazy life has to throw at you.

Don’t look back in anger,look forwards with a smile on your face.

The only way is up. ❤x

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We are sailing

On Thursday,I had my first session with a counsellor,to help me try and make sense of everything since Dad has passed.

I had never met this lady before,she knew nothing about me or my life.but after 50mins of crying and laughing (from me!) She said ‘I can tell what a wonderful,strong supportive family you all are’.

That brought yet more tears to my eye~I felt proud that in such a short space of time she could see and feel so much about our family life.

As with lots of families,we may not live close by, we may not talk every day,we may even fall out from time to time but the fact remains,that what we do have is an unbreakable bond held together by love.

Dad was a keen fisherman,he steered our ship through stormy weather,sunshine and cloudy days. He rode the waves with us,all of the ups and downs,the laughter and the tears. No problem was ever too big or too small~he was always there with advice,even if at the time you might of thought you didn’t need it!

He was our anchor and helped to keep life plain sailing even through the darkest of times.

Losing Dad has left a hole in my heart that can never be filled. He really was one of a kind and truly meant something to everyone who’s lifes he touched.

Although he may no longer be physically here with us~his legacy guide’s us through and gives us the strength and courage to pull together as a family.

One of his biggest lessons he taught us is the meaning of love,respect,family and friendship. He showed us how to share love as a family and welcome others into it too.

I often joke that if you are a part of my life,you are a part of our families life too,that’s the way it goes.

As the saying says ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, well in this family if you have a problem it can always be shared between us and thats a whole lot of sharing to go round!

As I continue to navigate my journey which has undoubtedly taken some very different pathways lately.

I would like to thank everyone who is with me for the ride,you are all amazing, wiping away my tears, giving me hugs and reasons to smile, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.

Life is made up of moments,memories, family, friendship and above all love.

Whatever you do cherish these things, hold them close and dont be afraid to show your emotions, tell people how you feel about them, shout it from the rooftops if you have to.

We get one shot at this crazy thing we call life~lets make it the best we can,forgive easily and love well.

❤x

These kids drive me to wine~even though they aren’t here! They’ve been gone for less than 2hours and I miss them already.
Its too quiet and I have no arguments to referee.

This co~parenting business doesn’t get any easier, saying goodbye to them with a smile on my face, then having a few quiet tears when I shut the door.
Don’t get me wrong I am grateful that they have both parents who love and care for them so much,and step parents who play a huge part in their life’s too.

I am grateful that between us~that’s a whole lot of love to go around.
Sometimes though knowing they are off to make memories without me,sharing times I will never know about,it does pull on my heart strings. It just goes to show you never really know where this path of life will take you.

All you can do is keep moving forwards,keep smiling and keep loving. Life is too short for anything less.❤x

Memories are made of this…

Its been a busy weekend here at the crazy household.
Yesterday we walked and shopped for hours quite literally.

Today we spent a lovely afternoon at the beach,having a belated birthday picnic for Helly. This is a tradition we have had since the children’s first birthdays and today 15yrs later we are still going strong.

Some dynamics may be different but the love that bonds us all together as family and friends will never change and that is something I am truly grateful for.

Now I am up to my eyes in packing~the kids are off on holiday with their Dad.
I know they will have an amazing time,but even now after doing this for quite a few years~its still an odd feeling as you get your children ready for an adventure that you are not a part of.
It’s going to be quiet without them that’s for sure!

❤x

Chapters

This post popped up as a memory from last year.
So much has changed within that year but the sentiment remains the same.
As I continue my journey through this crazy life, I do so with some people sadly missing.
Although they may no longer be a part of my life, the memories will help shape my future.❤x

Life is like a book,it’s made up of stories,pictures and words.

Some chapters are fun and exciting,some are slow and may even seem a little dull.
Some we want to last forever and never end.
Others we want to skip through quickly hoping that better things are waiting for us around that corner,with a turn of a page or 2.

These chapters are shaped by our lives, our hopes,dreams and disappointment.

They are narrated by us,read by others and at times judged by those who feel they have to the right to do so.

Some people may even be jealous of your story, to that I say go ahead and write your own story, fill your book with chapters of love and happiness.

May the happy pages outweigh the sad ones, may the good times prevail. May love guide and protect you whilst you navigate this crazy life.

All the while never forgetting that it’s never too late to turn a page and use that blank paper to rewrite your dreams and bring them to life.

To everyone who makes my very own book the bright, colourful, funny,crazy, page turning ‘novel’ that it is, I thank you all from the bottom of my heart, you are all fabulous and I love sharing the highs and lows with you all.
Much love.❤x

If there is one thing I am good at,its putting things off and thinking of lots of different excuses not to deal with them.

This morning was looking like being no exception to that rule as I woke up feeling slightly fragile owing totally to the 2 bottles ofwine too many we consumed last night!

So with my head feeling less than fresh,I bit the bullet and went and faced my weigh in which I have avoided for the last few weeks. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had stayed the same. Now if I hadn’t of gone, I would of told myself that I would have an extra good week and go next Saturday instead, which quite frankly is most unlikely!

I guess thats the thing isn’t it,actually when we deal with things head on,it makes them clearer and whilst life doesn’t always give us what we want it does at times give us what we need.

I have to say though the fact that the swimming pool cafe had no coffee this morning was something I most definitely did not need,infact I needed all the coffee this morn!

Still a stroll around the pond and a hot sugary doughnut soon sorted that out and even gave me the oomph to clean out the car and tackle the mountain of washing I have.

It didn’t do much to help my mood when I realised that the freezer had defrosted itself with a weeks worth of food in it!! Oh the joys of life, summed up in one very hungover morning!

Happy Saturday everyone.❤ x

Dad

Dad….

Today and every day I remember you.
I think of all the things I can’t do anymore~I can’t call you up, text you, hear your voice, see your face, give you a hug or tell you I love you.

I can’t tell you how much we all miss you more than words will ever say.

What I can do is hold onto the memories you gave us, the ones that will live on in us all forever.

You taught us so much (yes we were listening!),you have showed us the true meaning of family and love.

You were a tower of strength, the boss of our family and will always be our hero and a true legend.

We will raise a glass to you today and say a big cheers.

Don’t ever forget its not goodbye its see you later.

Love you always x x x

Those were the days…

Oh the 90’s what a decade.
The music,the fashions the trends, even the arrival of the internet!

We had records, cassettes and walkmans, and quickly became super quick music masters learning how to press play and record just at the right time so we could tape the top 40 on a sunday afternoon without capturing the voices of the dj.

Posters of popstars adourned our bedroom walls courtesy of smash hits magazine and shell suits were still a fashionable item eek!

At the age of 13yrs there was nothing I liked more than being with my friends, singing into our hairbrushes and practising the latest dance routines in front of the mirror and before we knew it we were being told to ‘spice up our lives’as a brand new girl band came bursting into our homes and indeed our lives.

The world was being taken by storm as a group of 5 girls named the ‘Spice Girls’ were about to introduce us to a whole new set of trends and of course the ever famous ‘girl power’.

The girls who each represented their own unique style and personalities, introduced themselves as ‘Posh”baby’ ‘scary’ ‘ginger’and ‘sporty’.

The spice girls songs soon proved to be popular and catchy and the catchphrase ‘Tell me what you want,what you really,really want’ was born.

What we really wanted(and still do to this day) was some walkers crisps~the varieties seemed endless but some firm favourites were ‘salt and vinegar’ and ‘cheese and onion’.
The bags were blue for ‘ salt and vinegar’and green for ‘cheese and onion’,the colour packets may of changed but tbey still taste as good today as they did back then.

Music continued to be a big part of our 90’s lifes and top of the pops was a firm favourite on a thursday night up until 1996 when it was moved to a friday evening to get the weekend started.

1996 also saw the spice girls very first appearance on the show when they sang a live performance of ‘wannabe’.

Bringing us back into the present day the girls kicked off their Uk and Ireland 13 date stadium tour on the 24th May 2019 and can be found at various stadiums throughout the country.

On that note I shall ‘stop right now’, dig out my biggest hair brush, dust off my best dance moves, grab my friends and reminisce over those fabulous teenage years. If the girls are really lucky I may even share a packet or two of Walkers crisps with them~its a good job the range of flavours has kept on growing so we will have plenty to choose from.❤x

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Lost?

‘Mum do you want to go for a walk?’ Were not exactly the words I was expecting to hear from my teenage daughters mouth before 9am this morning!

If I am honest I was thinking erm no! I was in bed with soaking wet hair,having a coffee catching up on loose women.

I paused and then thought, do you know what why not?! I have had barely any sleep and some fresh air would be good.

So off we went and I am so glad we did, I feel like I don’t really recognise myself at the moment~last night whilst out with kids, I caught sight of myself in the mirror and couldn’t believe the person looking back was me, some how along the way the old me seems to be slowly disappearing~I am determined that she will be back though.

So yes this morning walking and talking with my girl with no distractions and lovely scenery was a good start to my day (although the hills and steps she made me climb made me question her intentions hee hee).❤x