Not every story has a fairytale ending.
Not every question you ask will receive an answer.
Not every chapter will give you closure.
Don’t waste your time or energy on people/things who aren’t willing to treat you the same, use that precious energy and time for those who want to share everything this crazy life has to throw at you.
Don’t look back in anger,look forwards with a smile on your face.
The only way is up. ❤x
These kids drive me to wine~even though they aren’t here! They’ve been gone for less than 2hours and I miss them already.
Its too quiet and I have no arguments to referee.
This co~parenting business doesn’t get any easier, saying goodbye to them with a smile on my face, then having a few quiet tears when I shut the door.
Don’t get me wrong I am grateful that they have both parents who love and care for them so much,and step parents who play a huge part in their life’s too.
I am grateful that between us~that’s a whole lot of love to go around.
Sometimes though knowing they are off to make memories without me,sharing times I will never know about,it does pull on my heart strings. It just goes to show you never really know where this path of life will take you.
All you can do is keep moving forwards,keep smiling and keep loving. Life is too short for anything less.❤x
Its been a busy weekend here at the crazy household.
Yesterday we walked and shopped for hours quite literally.
Today we spent a lovely afternoon at the beach,having a belated birthday picnic for Helly. This is a tradition we have had since the children’s first birthdays and today 15yrs later we are still going strong.
Some dynamics may be different but the love that bonds us all together as family and friends will never change and that is something I am truly grateful for.
Now I am up to my eyes in packing~the kids are off on holiday with their Dad.
I know they will have an amazing time,but even now after doing this for quite a few years~its still an odd feeling as you get your children ready for an adventure that you are not a part of.
It’s going to be quiet without them that’s for sure!
We enjoyed an upside down day yesterday,celebrating my big girls birthday.
Somehow she is 15yrs old~I am not sure how that is possible, surely I am not old enough?! ❤x
If there is one thing I am good at,its putting things off and thinking of lots of different excuses not to deal with them.
This morning was looking like being no exception to that rule as I woke up feeling slightly fragile owing totally to the 2 bottles ofwine too many we consumed last night!
So with my head feeling less than fresh,I bit the bullet and went and faced my weigh in which I have avoided for the last few weeks. I was pleasantly surprised to find that I had stayed the same. Now if I hadn’t of gone, I would of told myself that I would have an extra good week and go next Saturday instead, which quite frankly is most unlikely!
I guess thats the thing isn’t it,actually when we deal with things head on,it makes them clearer and whilst life doesn’t always give us what we want it does at times give us what we need.
I have to say though the fact that the swimming pool cafe had no coffee this morning was something I most definitely did not need,infact I needed all the coffee this morn!
Still a stroll around the pond and a hot sugary doughnut soon sorted that out and even gave me the oomph to clean out the car and tackle the mountain of washing I have.
It didn’t do much to help my mood when I realised that the freezer had defrosted itself with a weeks worth of food in it!! Oh the joys of life, summed up in one very hungover morning!
Happy Saturday everyone.❤ x
Today and every day I remember you.
I think of all the things I can’t do anymore~I can’t call you up, text you, hear your voice, see your face, give you a hug or tell you I love you.
I can’t tell you how much we all miss you more than words will ever say.
What I can do is hold onto the memories you gave us, the ones that will live on in us all forever.
You taught us so much (yes we were listening!),you have showed us the true meaning of family and love.
You were a tower of strength, the boss of our family and will always be our hero and a true legend.
We will raise a glass to you today and say a big cheers.
Don’t ever forget its not goodbye its see you later.
Love you always x x x
This was yesterday but I got a little distracted by trying (unsuccessfully) to fix my hoover and forgot to post!
You know that feeling you get when its your day off and your going out for coffee and you decide that instead of your boring flats you will wear heels instead?
In my head this seemed like a fab idea, all was going well until we had parked the car and began walking to the coffee shop. After a few steps it became apparent that the gaps in the walkway were not designed with any one wearing heels in mind as pretty soon with almost every step I took I found myself getting my heel caught.
To avoid breaking either my ankles or my boots I had to adopt a unique style of walking which consisted of almost walking sideways~think of a crab scuttling around and you probably won’t go far wrong for a lifelike image!
Fortunately the coffee was good as was the company so I can’t complain.
I decided that a change of footwear was probably necessary before the school run this afternoon to avoid further embarrassment and indeed injury.
Whilst at home I noticed my boy had left half an easter egg casually lying around in his room~he is either very trusting or a bit silly leaving it in my line of vision~fortunately for him, I neither hid it or ate it but I must confess that the latter was extremely tempting.
After the school run it was a typical afternoon, 2 trips to tesco (because one is never enough quite clearly!), I made dinner and was contemplating washing up when I had a very nice suprise delivery from a friend of mine in the form of a ‘halo’ ice cream it tasted fab and the wrapper made me giggle hehe.
I then proceeded to torture myself by taking the hoover apart, well most of it apart from 2 screws which refused to be moved, after nearly 2 hours it remains still not fixed on the lounge floor~well tomorrow is another day and all that jazz.
Bedtime has rolled around in a flash and I am hopeful for some sleep, as much as I am rocking the bags big enough to get a months worth of shopping in underneath my eyes, a good snooze would be much appreciated.
Well one can dream or not as the case may be! ❤ x
When you confiscate the teenagers phone and get constantly reminded by them that you have done so!
So far the conversations are going some thing like this~
‘What time do you finish your club after school?’
‘ Well it should be about 4.30pm but might be earlier or later, obviously I won’t be able to let you know as I don’t have my phone.’
‘ What time is Dad picking you up later?
He said he would text me and let me know but obviously I haven’t had my phone so…..’
So far this is my personal favourite ‘Have you done your revision for your test?’
‘No because EVERYTHING I need for that is on my phone which I don’t have.
Oh ok and you have no other means of getting the information that you need?’ ‘No of course not!’
‘No worries then I will just phone the school and explain the situation about you being phoneless and why you are in fact without said phone and maybe your teacher could help you??’
‘Urgh Muuuummmmmm!!!! Its fine I will manage!’
Funny that I thought you might.
Teenagers hey.❤ x
You may recall our famous chocolate fridays~well may I now introduce you to chocolate thursday. Every thursday I collect the smallest members of the crazy gang from school and buy chocolate for all the kids (the biggest child included too hee hee).
I however have re~embarked on my weight watchers journey so treated myself to some more daffodils~don’t worry I realise I can’t eat them instead!
We also managed to grab a coffee this morning and mine looked pretty cool. ❤x
Grief~a small word with a huge meaning. It rocks up uninvited, makes itself at home and before you know it, its joining you each and every day.
Where you go, it goes.
Its like a constant shadow, always there, sometimes its quiet and gentle, other times it leaps up and slaps you in the face, catching you unaware.
It brings tears~ sometimes of happiness as it reminds you of the good times and sometimes of sadness as you ache for those things you will never have, see or do again.
They say that to grieve means you have loved and felt love that’s why it hurts so much.
Much like the sea, the waves of grief ebb and flow, back and forth,up and down. Good days and harder days.
Grief is here to stay, however it will never take away the love and memories that will live on to be cherished forever.❤x