This is me.

Hey everyone~I am back, obviously I have always been here in a physical sense but after some time,I am finally starting to feel like me again.

For a while I was worried that might never happen and whilst there is no denying that there’s a hole in my heart that will never heal, I know Dad would want us all to push forward and keep smiling.

As lifes rollercoaster takes us on our journey, with its ups and downs, twists and turns, just hold on tight.

Dad always said there is nothing that can’t be solved between us, no problem that can’t be shared, I hold that sentiment close and thank everyone in my life for being the wonderful friends and family you are, for being by my side through thick and thin.
❤x

P.S (this photo was taken last week~I couldn’t bring myself to use one from today after an afternoon of rope swinging, tree climbing and bbqing,I look slightly bedraggled hehehe.)

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We are sailing

On Thursday,I had my first session with a counsellor,to help me try and make sense of everything since Dad has passed.

I had never met this lady before,she knew nothing about me or my life.but after 50mins of crying and laughing (from me!) She said ‘I can tell what a wonderful,strong supportive family you all are’.

That brought yet more tears to my eye~I felt proud that in such a short space of time she could see and feel so much about our family life.

As with lots of families,we may not live close by, we may not talk every day,we may even fall out from time to time but the fact remains,that what we do have is an unbreakable bond held together by love.

Dad was a keen fisherman,he steered our ship through stormy weather,sunshine and cloudy days. He rode the waves with us,all of the ups and downs,the laughter and the tears. No problem was ever too big or too small~he was always there with advice,even if at the time you might of thought you didn’t need it!

He was our anchor and helped to keep life plain sailing even through the darkest of times.

Losing Dad has left a hole in my heart that can never be filled. He really was one of a kind and truly meant something to everyone who’s lifes he touched.

Although he may no longer be physically here with us~his legacy guide’s us through and gives us the strength and courage to pull together as a family.

One of his biggest lessons he taught us is the meaning of love,respect,family and friendship. He showed us how to share love as a family and welcome others into it too.

I often joke that if you are a part of my life,you are a part of our families life too,that’s the way it goes.

As the saying says ‘a problem shared is a problem halved’, well in this family if you have a problem it can always be shared between us and thats a whole lot of sharing to go round!

As I continue to navigate my journey which has undoubtedly taken some very different pathways lately.

I would like to thank everyone who is with me for the ride,you are all amazing, wiping away my tears, giving me hugs and reasons to smile, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to listen.

Life is made up of moments,memories, family, friendship and above all love.

Whatever you do cherish these things, hold them close and dont be afraid to show your emotions, tell people how you feel about them, shout it from the rooftops if you have to.

We get one shot at this crazy thing we call life~lets make it the best we can,forgive easily and love well.

❤x

Memories are made of this…

Its been a busy weekend here at the crazy household.
Yesterday we walked and shopped for hours quite literally.

Today we spent a lovely afternoon at the beach,having a belated birthday picnic for Helly. This is a tradition we have had since the children’s first birthdays and today 15yrs later we are still going strong.

Some dynamics may be different but the love that bonds us all together as family and friends will never change and that is something I am truly grateful for.

Now I am up to my eyes in packing~the kids are off on holiday with their Dad.
I know they will have an amazing time,but even now after doing this for quite a few years~its still an odd feeling as you get your children ready for an adventure that you are not a part of.
It’s going to be quiet without them that’s for sure!

❤x

No one told me.

No one told me that one day I would move away from my family( and miss them being close by)but make wonderful new friends at the same time.

No one told me that one day I would be a parent, they didn’t tell me that for 5 years I would be doing that job alone.

No one told me that after those years I would meet someone who does so much for us, I don’t have to parent alone anymore.

No one told me that some days I would be arguing with miniature versions of myself one minute and laughing at the craziness of them the next.

No one told me my heart would be so full and that one day I would stand outside getting wet repairing a trampoline in the rain because I know it will make them happy, and their happiness means more to me than they will ever know.

No one told me these things because no one knew. No one has a crystal ball, we can’t predict the future, but what we can do is make the most of every day. Forgive when we need to, start each day afresh.

Love with all of our hearts .

Make each and every day count.

❤️x

Numbers

Last night was one of those times when you really have to question your own ability as a full fledged adult and I’ll tell you why.

I was paying for my car parking using my debit card~or should I say attempting to pay for it~after 3 unsuccessful attempts at entering my pin, whilst confidently declaring that there simply must be a fault with the machine itself, I decided to phone my daughter and ask her if she could remember it.

Upon answering the phone she was unable to hide the disbelief in her voice aswell as the amusement!

She then confirmed the PIN number and the fact that I had entered one digit wrong!

Followed by saying ‘oh Mummy, trust you’ oops!

It was a funny end to a lovely eve~we had only one of four kids and went to McDonald’s, then bowling and back home for a quick dip in the hot tub.

Needless to say they beat me at bowling but I’ll let them off for being wonderful company for the eve.

Half~term it may be but there’s lots to do today including dodging the rain showers so I can get outside and repair the trampoline enclosure~wish me luck with that one.

Wishing you all a happy Tuesday.❤️x

Sunset thoughts on a Saturday

I feel I’ve been quite quiet lately on the blogging front~it’s unusual for me to be quiet although I do find that often there’s not much of an in between for that~either I’ll talk for England or won’t say more than two words in one go~I’m sure at times the latter is preferable!

It’s been a funny old week that seems to of stretched on forever.

It’s mainly consisted of being super tired and very much lacking in sleep and arguing with my teenager!

Of course there has been some happy moments too but sometimes they get overshadowed.

I know I’m not the first and certainly won’t be the last parent who is sitting down and thinking over and over about arguments or upset with their children. Wondering if it could of been dealt with differently, and indeed at times wondering what (if anything!)they’ve done wrong to find themselves in these situations.

One thing is for sure this parenting lark isn’t for the faint hearted, and if anyone could please tell me that the teenage years get easier it would be much appreciated~lie if you must but just do it hee hee.

On a happier note I’m typing this as I catch up with the one programme guaranteed to make me smile~first dates. I’ve got my feet up, a candle lit and of course a coffee on the table. All is quiet here in the crazy household, I’m hoping for two things~1. Some sleep and 2. A lie in.

Neither one of those things is guaranteed or indeed likely but hey ho a girl can dream (if sleep permits it of course!). ❤️x

Pull~don’t push.

I’m sure I’m not the only one who has ever pushed a door which clearly said pull or vice~versa.

This very analogy got me thinking don’t push away those who you love and care about~pull them closer and let them love you and support you.

It’s no secret and probably no surprise that I am better at writing about how I feel than actually saying it sometimes, my mouth has a habit of running away with itself before my brain is fully engaged!

Hence I love to write it clears my head and allows me to think properly and clearly.

We all know a problem shared is a problem halved~even when that seems like the hardest thing to do, try and find a way to do it, often things build up and can seem far worse and unsolvable when they are locked up in your own thoughts.

❤️❤️❤️

On that note last night my thoughts were Interrupted by a very unwelcome army of ants marching around my lounge and indeed one of two brave ones decided to have a stroll up my arm!

That was the last straw for me. Those tiny little things reduced me to tears!

I am so very grateful to have such wonderful people in my life and I know that I will most certainly be practising the pull don’t push way of doing things.

I truly believe that love holds the key to unlocking any door however big or small.❤️x

Wednesday Wander

There’s nothing like a cheeky little mid~week child free day off.

This is exactly what we had today so we headed to Brighton and had a good wander around the lanes.

Finding a fab coffee bar was one of the highlights of the day of course!

We couldn’t go by without popping in and sampling an Americano and also some delicious banana and peanut cake which tasted much better than it sounds.

We certainly did some steps today and luckily avoided the rain too.

After all that walking we stopped for lunch and had the biggest pizzas~I was well and truly beaten by mine.

All too soon it was time to head home. What a happy #humpday it’s been.❤️x

Gossip and giggles

I’m a little bit late posting this but let’s face it I’m usually late so no surprise there! Anyway last night was a fab night celebrating one of my very good friends birthday. It was one of those nights when you laugh so much you cry, in-fact I drove home with tears running down my face as well as mascara. It was the kind of night where us girls do what we do best~gossip,giggle and talk about anything and everything.

When I got home I was greeted by a lovely sight~my wonderful boyfriend had not only waited up but had made me coffee too. Now let me just point out that the coffee was in fact decaf~well who would of thought it hey?! I’m trying very hard to cut down on caffeine in the evenings after some pretty horrific sleepless nights, so am hoping it may help. Whilst I’m not exactly a fan of that stuff it’s got to be worth a try and lets be honest I couldn’t not drink any coffee in the eves so this has to be a compromise~let’s see.

Before I go I’ll leave the link below to a on older post I wrote about friendship a while ago, I hope it makes you smile too. ❤️x

https://crazylittlethingcalledlove.co.uk/2018/01/20/friendship/

Crazy little round up

This week is flying by and suddenly its Saturday. We have been as busy as ever-this weeks antics have included a whistle stop visit to Surrey to see family and have our hair cut too-shout out to my big sister for that!

We have enjoyed going along the seafront where the children’s preferred mode of transportation was a scooter, roller skates and indeed a skateboard. Us adults kept our feet firmly on the ground and enjoyed a catch up aswell as a cheeky coffee and a rather large Eccles cake!

Yesterday was a trip to Brighton on the train, where my son was subjected to the joys of shopping with a teenage girl who insisted on going into every shop we came across, needless to say after he had been in the two shops he needed he was keen to get home.

In other news I’m feeling particularly grown up after receiving my brand new business cards, this was cause for much excitement in the crazy household, to celebrate I decided that I simply had to buy myself a new notebook (not that I need any excuse to do so,I just love them!)as their are lots of exciting things to look out for, in the mean time watch this space.

Having spent most of the afternoon working on ‘Crazy little thing called love’ with the help of my lovely fella (he really does help out a lot with my blog!)its almost time for me to get ready to go out and celebrate my very good friends birthday-I am looking forward to an evening of gossip and giggles.

Before an early start tomorrow when I shall be busy preparing a big family roast for us 6 plus Mum and Dad, good times all round I say.

Heres hoping you’ve had a good week filled with chocolate-if not yours then at least helping the kids out with theirs!!!

Happy Saturday.❤️x